Well, in my last post I put it out there – that I was experiencing a ‘rut’ in life and had no prospects. But over the weekend, several conversations have led to something rather wonderful and I think I might finally be onto something!
Firstly, I am not totally useless and I’m actually much more confident than I give myself credit for. Secondly, I’ve decided to get over myself and start getting active! There’s no point constantly feeling down, sluggish, tired and sick the whole time, and doing nothing about it to feel better! Mental & physical changes to be had for sure! More on that later. And lastly, I’ve started looking into primary school teaching. It’s early days, and it means I’ll have to repeat the Irish Leaving Cert Higher Level paper in order to continue on in college and get the qualification, but I’m really excited about this one! I actually can’t think of anything else!
Even though I’m thrilled to have something work towards again, I’m also hesitant about sharing too much information about it. I don’t want to tell my whole family that ‘this is something I definitely want and I’m definitely going to do’, because so was studying Italian, studying in Galway, becoming a secondary school teacher and being a ballerina (I’m joking, I took one ballet class when I was six and thought I was the fucking star of Swan Lake!) They’ll very soon give up on supporting me if I keep crying wolf about what I ‘definitely’ want, so there’s no ‘definitely’ to this one. The word doesn’t exist. I’m just throwing ideas out there and looking into them, and we’ll leave it there for now. (But –
Myself & Gary took a trip into the city today (Hurrah! Another victory from my last post about getting out and about on my days off work!) Our days off never coincide so we figured we’d make the most of it. It was a rather successful day out, if I do say so myself! My purchases were spot on and include a ‘buy one, get another for 1cent’ deal in Holland and Barrett, so I came out with two months’ worth of Booteatox, and our trip to the Silly Shop landed me with a pair of RIDICULOUSLY FRICKIN’ COOL unicorn slippers!! AND we had a fantastic lunch in Temple Bar for a tenner, ffs! – how did that happen?
It felt so good to get out and do something different, even though the weather was a bit chilly and I wore the wrong shoes for six hours walking, but how and ever! It’s the little things!
In regards to the teatox, there’s a few things to be noted here. After I hit target in June of last year with Slimming World, I decided to stop going to the weekly group weigh-ins and carry on from home. I managed to maintain my weight, maybe going up a couple of pounds and down a few more again, but all within target range. I didn’t follow the plan, so to speak, but had discovered a balance that seemed to work for me quite well. My target was 9 stone and my lowest weight was 8.11. I was really happy at 8.11 but by the time I got there, holidays to Lanzarote rolled round and when I came back I was up to 9.3. Fast forward two months later and I’ve done nothing to get back down to where I was happy, and I still weigh 9.3. I’ve been feeling so down lately, not so much to do with the number on the scale, but the fact that I literally go to work, come home, eat what I want, watch TV and go to sleep. I go into work feeling so tired and useless, and I stress so much about whether or not I’m getting enough sleep, which I absolutely am. But I’ve had no life in between and I’ve had enough of feeling sorry for myself. I’m 23, not 87! I’m too young to feel so old!!
I’ve taken the 14 day detox of Bootea a couple of times in the last year or so, and really liked it, but I wasn’t eating as well I should have been or exercising while I was drinking it, so I missed the point. As well as that, the laxative effect in the senna leaves takes an awful toll on the body! This time, I’ve opted for the 28 day teatox with no laxatives, and I have every intention of doing well by myself to eat right and exercise. I’m not saying I’m going to have a perfect 4 week record of no cheat days or treats, but I’m cutting out a lot of the shit that I’ve allowed myself to indulge in over the last few months. I also think I may have an intolerance to some food type, so I’m going to try cutting out starchy foods for a while and see if it makes a difference. I’m not prepared to even consider cutting out dairy as chocolate keeps me alive and sane, tell the truth.
It’s more than possible to do all of this without the teatox, and there are plenty of other teas out there that set out to do the same thing – at a much cheaper price! – but I like Bootea so I’m going to stick with it. Anyway, I think it will give me that extra kick and motivation to get active. There’s a 5k run coming up in July for the charity organisation that I’m involved with, and I’d love to be able to do it without struggling to breathe after 5 minutes! If only I had deadly unicorn runners now too…
(The charity is SOSAD (Save our Sons and Daughters) and aims to raise awareness of suicide in Ireland and help those affected by it. If you find yourself intrigued by this, visit their page on http://www.sosadireland.ie to learn more about them and what services they provide!)
SO. My POA for the week consists of getting active. I’m going to make a few calls and look up more info on primary school teaching to see how I can get started there. I’m going to prepare all my meals instead of buying shit out of shops for lunch or dinner, and they’ll all be SW friendly. And I’m going to get a few walks around the town in there too. My job involves a LOT of cardio, let me tell ya, so I know I’m not a couch potato even if I don’t get out walking, but I want to give myself the extra push with the 5k in mind! I’ve also decided to really challenge myself by putting the scales away, weighing once tomorrow for a starting point and not again for another week or two. I’m so obsessed with standing up on them 4 or 5 times a day that a lot of my bad attitude towards myself is my own fault!
So, a stress free, go with the flow, positive attitude and no ‘definitely’ in there anywhere kind of week! Fingers crossed…